I have watched many marriages be torn apart because of infidelity. It is heart wrenching to witness beloved friends having to live their worst nightmare as they discover their spouse has been selfish and unfaithful. I would never wish it on anyone. Because of this, I have used these awful experiences to collect advice and tips on how to catch a cheater before it is too late in hopes that it may help someone in the future.
Here are 10 of the most common signs that your spouse is cheating:
1. Frequent change of passwords
If you notice your spouse changing their email, cell phone, computer or social media passwords more than usual, chances are they are trying to hide something.
2. Social media profiles
If a spouse is unfaithful, they will most likely make their social media profiles look very "single." Updating their profile picture to a solo shot or a picture with friends and hiding photos of you as a couple should be a big red flag. Also take notice if there is an obvious increase in the amount of time your spouse spends on social networks each day.
3. Cellphone habits
A healthy relationship is an open one. When your spouse answers the phone and immediately moves to a room where you cannot overhear the conversation, watch out. Unless they are planning a surprise birthday party for you, your spouse should feel comfortable talking to anyone on the phone in front of you.
4. Decreased or increased desire for intimacy
In some cases the desire for sex may decrease since the cheater is already getting their pleasure outside the home. However, there is also the possibility that his or her interest in having sex may increase, because of feelings of guilt.
5. Cleared history
A big sign that someone is being unfaithful is when you find their computer or phone history cleared regularly. Though your spouse might be doing this for security reasons, it is more likely that they are trying to "cover their tracks."
6. Increase in social activities
Take note when your spouse starts attending more social gatherings alone. A guys' night out or a business party are commonly used cover-ups.
If it seems you are a little tighter on money at the end of the month than normal, look at where your extra money is going. Cheaters will often take out cash to make it more difficult to track where they have spent the money.
8. Physical appearance
Be careful not to jump to conclusions with this one. Your spouse's newfound desire to be more physically attractive might be a result of trying to look more professional for work, or maybe they are just trying to catch your eye. However, if you have noticed any of the other signs on this list, you may have a problem. When seeking a new relationship or adventure, people usually take extra care in managing their outward appearance.
9. Blame you for everything
No matter if something happened at work or away from home, they find a way to blame you and make you feel lousy.
10. Increase in gifts
Spouses who are being unfaithful will often try to cover their guilt with splurges of gifts. If you are surprised by the sudden amount of attention and gifts your spouse is giving you, you might want find out what the motive behind them is.
If you find four or more of these signs in your life, something strange is happening. It doesn't guarantee that your spouse is caught up in an affair, but they are the beginning steps towards infidelity. Be careful to avoid outright accusing them of being unfaithful. Instead, talk to them and try to understand what is going on. If there is a problem, try your best to work through it with your spouse, forgive their mistakes and save your marriage.